Okay so one of my lifelong best friends, and my sister both recently had babies. I find myself responding to texts, calls, and lots of questions from two very capable women who have entirely different thoughts, ideas, experiences, and questions.
Amidst it all I just want to encourage them. Tell them it is all worth it and that they can do it. So… after a day being cooped up with fevers (which was not pretty – but I can save that for another post) I took my boys in comfy clothes, no makeup, with wet hair to a nearby nature park for a “forest walk.” Snacks in my pocket and two happy boys – I felt on top of the world.
I sent videos of my 3 year old “reading” the information signs – I just knew this would make them smile. They love my boys.
They know them well, their personalities and their curiosity. I wanted them to know that the days get better, the relationship deepens with your little one as they get older and you fall more in love with them every day.
Being a mom is this much fun!
I got to snap some awesome photos and just had to share them with my girls to encourage them! I sent them and just a few hours later I thought what was I thinking?! These two lovely ladies are in the thick of it – new moms figuring out nursing, sleep and just barely getting themselves bathed or fed. That was not encouraging. Although our smiles and faces may have blessed them what these ladies really needed was a dose of my reality and to know that they were not alone.
“True friendship makes us give up the need to be perceived as perfect” And I have no need to be perfect with these ladies. These relationships are worth the risk of being totally honest it’s worth the risk of being vulnerable, authentic, and from that risk we can have a friendship that is deep and real.
Not all friendships will be this, and the fine line of sharing these things online is one to be walked carefully. I’m trying to find that balance. The world need not know it all but I feel like we have a responsibility to help other moms, our friends know that we are all in the thick of it together. And for each of us it will look different but we are here to be real. “And with some [and maybe for you this is only in person and not online] to enter into a deeper relationship that crosses into the broken and more fragile parts of who we are.”
Check out my next post for a bit of my humor, and a dose of reality. 😉 What I sent these two ladies just a few hours later.
Facebook Comments Box
You are a gem, Alex! I really appriciate your perspective and attention to "reality" vs "choreographed reality". Go get'em mama!
Lol. My dose of reality today: had to get Leyla to school by 8 am. So I had to get a shower and 3 kids ready to leave. Leyla decided she did NOT want to put shoes on, so I took the other kids to the car and told her to join us when she had her shoes on. Got her late to school, where a I realized the book bag I packed got left by the front door. Then I realized that since Leyla came to the car by herself, the front door was probably still wide open. Rushed home after dropping her off to discover that, indeed, the Door was not only unlocked but wide open. Did a quick sweep through to make sure no one else noticed and decided to help themselves … Then …. Off to the rest of the day. (And in case you were wondering, my kids are now eating lunch, in the car, parked in the driveway — because going on is just too hard.) we are all a a little bit of a mess, but like you said, the relationships grow with time and are worth it. Your friends will glean much from you, I'm sure, and I hope they will be encouraged that they've got this!