This was an older post that I missed sharing. But I thought the emotions were important to include. This took place just a couple months before we found out about our first pregnancy….
Written in the end of May of 2011
So after a few negative tests I assumed I wasn’t pregnant, even though I took them a bit early. I took one 2 days ago when the probablity of it being accurate was around 75% and it was negative. Still didn’t prepare me for today when my period hit.
We have been talking about whether or not to postpone clomid and “trying” until the fall so that I won’t leave teaching, and possibly a new job, a few months early. I’m not sure… I lean towards keep on keepin’ on and still trying, but I also am considering starting my Masters in the fall so waiting might be the best. I just don’t know yet….
Despite that I hoped it was this month and that our “dilemma” would be solved for us. That disappoinment aside the cycle was only 40 days instead of 45 so that is nice because that means we’ll be able to get started a bit quicker starting with our “trying” and with starting Clomid on CD 3 instead of 10 maybe we’ll have even more luck!
I really do love Fertility Friend because I felt prepped for this. I saw my temperature decreasing and was looking for signs and felt like I saw it coming. So that is actually very nice.
With all that is going on in my life with my current work, future job potential, being so busy, and trying to conceive I know that the stress isn’t helping. I’m trying to figure out what I can cut. I know soon that my decision about next year will take care of itself, school will end and I won’t be doing two jobs, so many of the things will just take care of themselves. I want to get a gym membership and start doing some gentle working out too. I need to get healthier and slow down some.
It’s just a matter of doing it. I’m going to take a break from Coordinating Women & Wine this summer, see if someone else takes the lead. And just focus on a Monday night Bible study. Plus our small group takes a break and just does social stuff. And then take out 40 hours of work and things will be slower I am certain. Indigo Plum will need me more and I may be doing some prep work for whatever job I take be it at CKA in a new grade level or a new position at a new school altogether.
K… took a break. Ben just came by ….
We are torn and I don’t want to move forward if we are different pages. We both want to keep trying but I think he feels like if I take a new job at a new school and leave it to have a baby that we are being irresponsible. I told him that even if I knew I was pregnant right now I would still take a job elsewhere because it would be a new experience that I think I need and less stress which I also need. I asked him to think on it and we’ll chat later this weekend. We have to decide a few days sooner then we thought since I need to start Clomid on CD3-5.
Off I go….
May 27th, 2011